Generous Family, Friends, and Facebook Friends:

For my birthday, I'm not asking for your time or your love, only your money. For charity.

I've set up a donation drive starting this, the week of November 17th, and extending through the end of 2011. It's to build permanent clean water infrastructure for a bunch of thirsty people...but the charity:water website will fill you in on all that feel-good junk.

Let's talk instead about guilt. Specifically the efforts I've gone through here to alleviate yours.

I figured the average donation might be the equivalent of a drink plus tip at a bar ($8--the bar is a little overpriced if you only ordered a beer, but oh well). If you would have considered buying me a gift or a drink, you can get off easy at $8, or go big at $24.

If there's little chance you and I would have run into each other at a bar these days, imagine if, randomly, we did! If such a chance meeting happens in the future, I'll buy you a drink...if you donate.

So, to account for that and the many other understandable reasons that would preclude you buying me a drink this Thursday, I've done you a favor. I've arranged for the guilt that would have accompanied the shirking of your responsibility for me being sober on my birthday to be replaced by the considerably lighter burden of a small child dying, thirsty and afflicted by waterborne parasites, in a ditch half a world away.

But wait, you need not be bothered by either of these annoying tickles to your conscience! For access to exclusive guilt reduction services, simply donate at this link: http://mycharitywater.org/onboardforwater

A cool feature of this charity is that you can track where the money is ultimately spent, and they'll post pictures and videos of the people getting all excited about tap water. I'll send that stuff out in early 2012 to donating parties.

Love and Gratitude,
Luke

PS: I hope those of you who rarely hear from me are not put off by this message, but rest assured that I really will buy you a drink at our next serendipitous encounter.